Like the Big Five, few forget their first sighting of Françoise Malby-Anthony. Mine was in a newspaper office where I was lifestyle editor. Her blonde mane swung around her, Bardot-style, as she pulled flowing suede gypsy skirts and accessories from bags, holding them against herself and explaining passionately in her distinctive smoky French voice how she created them. Reporters and photographers hovered as they passed, mesmerised tourists at a waterhole.

‘That was in the ’90s, another lifetime,’ she laughs throatily, as we enjoy breakfast in the Zululand sun at Thula Thula Private Game Reserve, sharing her latest creations: ‘Egg Nests’ with Spinach and Parmesan, soufflé clouds with softly poached yolks at their heart. The recipe is part of a collection of lodge favourites in her latest book, Dining with Elephants. It follows international bestsellers An Elephant in My Kitchen, one of the most beguiling books about the bush since Born Free, and The Elephants of Thula Thula, tracking her fight to save her beloved pachyderms from poaching, pandemic lockdowns and mining threats to the reserve she co-founded with her legendary husband Lawrence Anthony in 1998.

Françoise’s evolution through fashion and food to conservation and – since Lawrence’s death – the daunting responsibilities of running a 5 000-hectare reserve and two lodges, began when she met him in 1987. A true Parisian, she lived in a chic Montparnasse apartment and worked for the French Chamber of Commerce. She was in London, waiting for a taxi to a trade fair, when the hotel porter asked whether she’d share a cab with another guest.

‘One look at this six-foot-three man with ginger hair, in white summer trousers and a blue Windbreaker on a freezing winter day, and I said no. I was not in the mood for tourists!’ She retreated into the hotel to thaw, only to find the same tourist in the lobby. Embarrassed, she offered to show him how to use the tube, and they rode to the fair together. ‘Lawrence was marketing a surfing gadget to save people from drowning, madness in snowbound London, but he was a brilliant salesman – he knew that sunny South Africa would sound like heaven, and it did!’

A few weeks later he flew to Paris for a date: ‘That’s the man Lawrence was; impulsive, bold, he never let anything stop him getting what he wanted.’ He persuaded Françoise to visit South Africa, and took her to a friend’s old hunting game farm in the Zululand bush. She fell for the country (‘so beautiful!’), the people (‘so warm and friendly’), the wildlife (‘there is nothing like it’), and the man. Within a year, she had left her job and apartment, and moved into his Durban home. She taught French, then armed with a short design course and an industrial sewing machine, branched into fashion, soon supplying high-end boutiques. ‘I’ve always been creative – and with Lawrence I could be myself. It was fantastic. Life was an adventure!’

When his friend sold the game farm and Lawrence proposed buying it, banning hunting, and turning it into a massive conservation area, Françoise threw herself into it. In 1998 they moved to Zululand and began creating Thula Thula (‘hush, hush’) – building a luxury lodge around the old farmhouse, and restocking the 1 500 hectares with wildlife. This included a herd of seven ‘delinquent elephants’ causing havoc on a reserve near the Kruger National Park, and unless relocated fast, destined to be put down.

‘The ellies were hugely stressed – the reserve owner had shot the matriarch and a baby – and when those that remained arrived here, they broke out of the boma and electric fence we had built.’ When they were rounded up, Lawrence camped beside the boma for weeks, talking gently to them to earn their trust. One morning, Nana, the new matriarch, reached her trunk over the fence and rested it on his shoulder. The herd mood had subtly changed: ‘They sensed they were home!’

In 2009, Lawrence’s account was published in his book The Elephant Whisperer, and interest in Thula Thula soared. By then, he was known for sneaking into war-ravaged Baghdad in 2003 to save starving wildlife in the zoo, and written his first book, Babylon’s Ark. He followed this by venturing into Southern Sudan in 2006 to negotiate with the Lord’s Resistance Army rebel group to protect the last northern white rhinos, which he recounted in The Last Rhinos – his last book.

Françoise kept Thula Thula going throughout these and other absences, dealing with poaching attempts, injured animals and management problems alone. ‘Lawrence taught me nothing is impossible, that you must just push on – and I did.’ But on 2 March 2012, when he was at a conference, she received a call that dropped her in her tracks. It was his right-hand man, in tears. ‘Lawrence was dead. My big indestructible man had had a heart attack. I didn’t want to live in a world without his spirit.’

Two days later, Françoise was still in her bedroom when staff called: Nana and the elephant herd were standing at the fence, rumbling the way they did when with Lawrence. ‘They “kept vigil” for two days before heading back into the bush.’

Françoise retreated to France to see family, and rumours flew: She would sell Thula Thula; she would not come back. ‘Booking after booking was cancelled. It was ridiculous,’ she growls. ‘How could I have abandoned what Lawrence and I fought for so hard? My closest family is here: our wonderful staff from the local community. The wildlife. My three dogs… But being a woman, a blonde, people don’t believe you capable. Do they think Lawrence knew about conservation and wildlife when we started? He learned! I was on the hospitality, finance, marketing and administration side of our operation, but I too could learn about animals and fences and security.’

She not only stayed and learned, but has also grown the reserve, its conservation projects and its animal population. The number of elephants has expanded to 28, and the 1 000-hectare reserve now stretches over 5 000 hectares. It includes Thula Thula’s own Wildlife Rehabilitation Centre, where orphaned or wounded animals are cared for before being returned to the wild, as well as the Volunteers Academy, where international volunteers are involved in conservation, reserve management and environmental studies. Françoise has also founded the South African Conservation Fund, a non-profit to support these and other projects.

As we sip the last of our coffee on the lodge terrace, dunking chunks of irresistible Thula Thula Secret Bread and watching for thieving monkeys, she outlines her latest vision: a Zulu cultural village, where visitors can watch traditional dancing, buy local crafts to support the community, and book game drives.

In March 2019, seven years after Lawrence’s death, Françoise was awarded the prestigious Prix du Public des Trophées des Français de l’étranger in recognition of her work in conservation in South Africa, followed by the Medal of Chevalier de l’Ordre National du Mérite.

‘Rewards are nice, but it’s the challenges that make you stronger,’ she says simply. ‘They are the key to survival. As I say in the book, obstacles don’t block the path – they are the path. Now how about some cheesecake? It’s caramelised pear and chocolate, my favourite!’

“Elephant social life has taught me that life should be about caring, giving, helping and sharing.”